


If Only You Knew

by scarslikeconstxllations



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alya is stubborn, Angst, Confusion, F/M, Freeform kind of, Heartbreak, Nino and Alya are angsty af, Nino and Alya are lowkey in love, Nino gets sappy, Nino gets sassy, Resolution, Romance, Secret Identities, They don't understand the other is trying to help, They're oblivious, conflicting thoughts, confusing feelings, love square
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 21:01:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15590643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarslikeconstxllations/pseuds/scarslikeconstxllations
Summary: Alya and Nino have been best friends for a long time. But they start to notice things about the other that upsets them. They're always disappearing, appear to be tired more than usual, are always stressed about something, are MIA during akuma attacks, and have become distant with each other. The two have conflicting feelings under the surfaces of their skin, that begin to come to light in a worrisome way.





	1. Break-Up

**Author's Note:**

> A.n. So this was a requested fic on Amino by one of my closest friends! We call her Alya and she is the reason for the plot of this story. This will be angst focused on Nino and Alya. In this two-parter, Nino was given the turtle Miraculous full-time and took on the identity of Carapace. Alya was given the fox Miraculous full-time and took on the identity of Rena Rogue. I hope you enjoy! (P.s. I know Trixx is a boy in the series but I always imagined the fox kwami as a girl so I'm leaving her as a female. ;-; Sorry!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidden feelings bubble to the surface. Anger replaces them before they can be released.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.n. Welcome to the first part. I hope you enjoy.

_It was the small, subtle things that they both began to notice._

The occasional bruise, a slight limp, the addition of dark circles under their eyes. The way they both dragged their feet with a lack of energy.

Nino was the first one to notice, for Alya always seemed to be the optimistic one in their friend group. Her lack of smiling was starting to get to him. There was no longer a light in her eyes, one that lit up her whole face and made her dark eyes sparkle.

A few years after college was when the changes became prominent. The four friends hadn't gone their separate ways, but they were all very busy. Marinette and Adrien, now engaged, were busy running a fashion company that branched off of Gabriel Agreste's. Marinette was the designer and Adrien was the CEO of the business. Alya was now a full-time reporter and blogger, and Nino was a DJ. Everyone had a plan for their lives, and it seemed to be going okay.

Except for the sudden changes in mood.

Alya was no longer her bright, friendly self. She now seemed to have a certain weight holding her shoulders down, that she seemed to drag with her wherever she went.

The passion she had still went into everything she did, so she wasn't necessarily slacking. But the change in atmosphere around her no longer radiated positive energy.

It was starting to worry him.

And yeah, Nino was busy himself, and no longer was the happy, carefree person he used to be. But he didn't care about that. All that mattered was his friends' happiness.

Then there was the whole . . . miraculous thing.

A few years after high school, Nino was going through a rough patch. He wasn't getting anywhere with his studies, and his DJ career was taking a bit of a flop.

Needless to say, things weren't going well for him. So he was more than surprised when a small, odd-looking box showed up in his dorm room.

Come to find out, it was a miraculous. A small green turtle was given to him that would grant him the superpowers he needed to help save Paris. Wayzz was his kwami. All he had to do was put on the bracelet and say the command, and he was transformed into Jade Turtle.

The miraculous was a huge responsibility. He felt the tremendous pressure that came with it threatening to seep under his skin. But he was refusing to let it get to him.

What he was really concerned with . . . was Alya.

She was the absolute worst at excuses.

He would ask her now and then how she was feeling, and it was always the same.

"I'm fine!"

And she would disappear at the weirdest times, sometimes during akuma attacks. And yes, Nino knew that she was a blogger, and liked to catch footage of the attacks. But there was one thing wrong about that.

She didn't post the footage on her blog.

So what was she doing all that time? It could be that she was hiding, but Alya never hid from anything. She always wanted to be part of the action, to see it for herself.

One time, the two of them had been having lunch together, when an akuma attack struck. Terrified for her safety, Nino had reached for her hand in an attempt to pull her somewhere safe so he could transform. However, Alya was quick to make an excuse about the bathroom before he could even make contact with her skin.

Maybe he was overreacting, maybe not. But he was concerned.

His best friend, his former lover. They had dated briefly in high school when they were both in the awkward stages of their lives. They had decided to take a break, mutually agreeing that they would be better off as friends again.

The problem was, Nino cared about her, a lot. More than he should, actually. He cared about her as more than a friend.

He wanted to ask her what was wrong. He wanted to talk to her, he wanted to hold her in his arms and tell her that she could talk to him about anything. He would listen, no matter what.

Another thought crossed his mind, one that he refused to listen to.

The appearance of the new superheroine, Rena Rogue.

Nino wasn't surprised, considering he also received a miraculous. But Rena . . . There was something so familiar about her. Every time he tried to think about it, he ended up overthinking and the thought would completely slip from his mind.

Her laugh, her attitude, her sass, her passion, her tendency to take charge, her admiration for Ladybug. It was all too familiar to him, and he didn't know why.

Maybe it was because . . . She reminded him of someone.

As Nino paced back and forth in his room, Alya's face kept flashing in his mind. She would be okay . . . right? He could always just call her . . . His hand reached for the phone, but he stopped himself. No, he couldn't do this. He was probably overreacting.

But then again . . . What if he wasn't?

Shaking his head, he grabbed a sweatshirt and slipped it on. If he was going to talk to her, he was going to do it in person.

He left the house, making sure he remembered to grab Wayzz, and headed in the direction of Alya's.

✿✿✿

Alya was never a worrier. That job was really reserved for Marinette in their friend group.

But lately, she found herself being more and more concerned with Nino.

Since high school, the boy was always pretty chill. His laid back attitude was what made him so pleasant to be around. And yes, Alya understood that people changed.

However, something was missing from her best friend, from her former lover. Something bright and cheerful that she had simply taken for granted.

She couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, but there was no doubt in her mind that something was missing. Maybe it was the light behind his eyes, that seemed to have dried up like a lake in the desert. Maybe it was his lack of a genuine smile. He had always seemed so carefree, and now it was becoming apparent that something was wrong.

She wanted to talk to him about it, but the mere thought of it was stressing her out like she couldn't even imagine.

A small poke to her side reminded her that she wasn't alone, however. To her surprise, she had received a miraculous during college. It was weird to see at first, considering it was the same miraculous that the akumatized Lila had used as a decoy, and it was controversial at best. Especially for Ladybug to get used to. However, with time, everyone began warming up to her.

Especially Jade Turtle.

Alya had teased him about his name. She was always like that around him, teasing and playful. But there was something about him that drew a certain familiarity with her. Something . . . that she couldn't quite grasp.

If she thought about it too much, it would slip away, like trying to catch water as it runs through your fingers.

There was no doubt about it that Jade Turtle was familiar. His smile, his laugh, his eyes . . . There was just something about him that reminded her of someone.

Alya sat on her porch swing, hugging a blanket to her chest. A cool fall breeze tickled her skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. She pulled the blanket tighter around her, staring down at the coffee mug that lay on the table in front of her. The steam filled the air, making her eyes water slightly.

Footsteps sound through the air, crunching on the newly fallen leaves that covered the path that led to Alya's house. Looking up, she was startled to see a figure approaching.

It was Nino.

✿✿✿

Nino didn't know how he got himself into situations like these.

It appeared that his brain hadn't properly caught up with what his legs were doing, and he found himself standing with a dumbfounded expression in front of Alya's house.

And there she was, on the front porch swing, looking absolutely stunning.

The fall foliage around her complimented her auburn hair, which fell in loose curls on her head, framing her face. Her beautiful eyes held a bit of curiosity—and some confusion.

"Nino?" She spoke, sitting up more. The blanket fell off of her shoulders, exposing a creme colored cardigan that highlighted her skin-tone beautifully.

Nino continued to gape for a moment longer until Alya cleared her throat a few times. "R-Right! Uh, Alya! Fancy meeting you here?" he tried.

Alya rolled her eyes at him. "This is my house," she said in amusement. "Come over here, and stop being so awkward." She patted the spot next to her on the swing, scorching over slightly to give him some room.

Even though she scooted over, there was still only a small space for Nino to sit. They would definitely be cozy . . .

Wincing slightly, Nino forced a smile and stiffly walked over. He carefully sat down, trying to avoid making any contact with Alya's skin.

Why was she even wearing shorts in the fall?!

Alya watched Nino with mild amusement. "You okay there? You obviously came for a reason. What's up?"

Nino swallowed thickly. "I . . ." What was wrong with him? He had so many things he wanted to say, and when he finally got the opportunity he was drawing a blank.

"Me too," Alya said jokingly. "Come on Nino, spit it out."

"Okay . . ." Nino took a deep breath, slowly inhaling and exhaling. "I'm worried about you," he finally blurted out.

"What?" Alya asked in confusion, but Nino wasn't finished.

Once the words started tumbling out of his mouth, he couldn't stop them. It was like the dam in his brain locking away part of his feelings had finally burst, leaving waves of truth in its path.

"You're worrying me. You're no longer happy or carefree, I can see it in your eyes. It's written on your face with your fake smiles and furrowed eyebrows, and it's all telling me that something is wrong. You no longer have the light behind your eyes, Alya. I miss that. It's always something I admired about you. You're worrying me, so much. I care about your wellbeing. So please, please tell me if something's wrong. Actually, just tell me what's wrong. Because I know there's something there that's upsetting you. It's changing you into a stranger. I want the old Alya back," he finally finished, his voice barely a whisper by the end.

Alya stared at Nino, trying to process what he had just said. Her expression was unreadable, and Nino found himself becoming more and more nervous as the seconds ticked by.

Finally, Alya spoke. Her voice was flat of emotion, and it shocked him. "I appreciate your concern, but I can handle myself."

Taken back, Nino blinked at her in surprise. "W-What?"

Alya didn't falter. "You heard me. You don't need to worry about me, I'm a grown woman and I can handle myself. But thanks for the concern."

Was she . . . Did she really think . . .

"Alya," Nino said incredulously. "You can't be serious . . ."

"I'm completely serious," Alya said, her tone cold and hard as stone. "You don't have to check up on me like that. I'm not a baby. I know what I'm doing and I'm aware of how it affects me. Like I said, thanks for the concern, but I don't need any help."

Alya was always strong-willed. But this . . . This was new. This was different from the Alya he knew. He didn't like it one bit.

Nino could feel his temper heating up, and he was struggling to keep it at bay. "Alya," he said slowly," I'm only trying to help you. I was just taking note of how upset you seem to be, that's all. There's no reason to get angry about it."

But it was too late. Nino's simple words had expelled all of the anger, frustration, confusion, stress, and sadness that had been building inside her brain.

"I don't care!" She snapped, cutting him off instantly. "I'm not fragile, okay?! I don't need someone looking out for me. I can handle myself!" She furiously swiped at her eyes with her cardigan sleeve, which had begun to mist over with unshed tears. "And what about you? You're always disappearing! You never answer my phone calls, and when I do hear back from you we can only talk for a few minutes because you're busy with your gigs."

Nino felt a pang in his chest. So she missed talking to him? But the mention of his absences made him angry as well. Who did she think she was, talking to him about his absences?

"Excuse me?" Nino nearly seethed through his teeth. "You're one to talk! You're always disappearing and making up lame excuses! I mean seriously, the bathroom, Alya? Every time there's an akuma attack, I try to get you to safety but you run off! What's your deal? I know you're not scared because you aren't like that! Are you . . . Are you avoiding me?!"

Alya's eyes widened. How dare he talk back to HER! "I'm recording the footage for my blog!" She hissed.

"Oh, are you now? That's actually really funny! Marinette gave me the new link to your blog, and I never see footage of the akuma attacks on your blog anymore. What's the matter, are you getting cold feet? You're lying to me Alya, face the facts! I want to know what's really going on!"

"Oh, and how would you know what happens during the akuma attacks? Is there something you aren't telling me, Nino?" Alya didn't really mean to say that. She was taking quite the gamble with those words. But they had slipped out, and there was no way to get them back.

"Am I supposed to tell you that I watch the news every night? There, the big secret is out!" Nino spat. "What's your excuse?"

"I-I shouldn't have to explain myself to you!" Alya said in an exasperated tone. She stood up abruptly, nearly knocking over her latte. The porch swing swung violently as she stood up and grabbed her blanket, picking up the mug on her way towards the door.

"Alya wait!" Nino cried, quickly getting up out of the swing.

"Just leave it, Nino! I don't need someone fishing around in my life. I'm a grown, responsible adult that doesn't need a babysitter! If you're going to act like this, then just stay out of my life! It will be better off without you in it anyway."

Every word was like a poisonous dart, straight into Nino's chest. He staggered backward in surprise, losing his balance and falling off the porch into a small pile of leaves.

"Y-You . . . Alya!" But she had already slammed the door. "You know what? Fine! I don't need a liar in my life anyways! If you're going to keep secrets from me, then I don't even want to be around you! Have a good life!" He hissed, getting up and brushing off his pants. He stormed away from the house, glaring down at his feet as he did so.

Alya watched from the window, the angry tears that she had been holding in streaming down her cheeks. "Good riddance," she said, but the fight was gone from her voice.

Only one thing remained.

Regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.n. Angsty enough? No? Stay tuned for part two!


	2. Make-Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some unlikely advice is given, and a make-up is underway. Will the two part-time heroes ever admit their true feelings and tell each other the secrets that are tearing them apart?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.n. Welcome to the second part! I appreciate you stopping by. I hope you enjoy the last installment of this two-parter.

Nothing in the world compared to what Nino was feeling as he stormed away from Alya's house.

Like a raging tornado, Nino's emotions swirled and mixed together, creating the conditions for a terrifying storm.

His heart was thumping rapidly in his chest as if it was trying to jump out to escape the sudden pain. He put his hands on his head and gripped his hair, which had grown out since high school.

His walking soon turned into a jog, which turned a full sprint away from Alya's house. He raced through the bordering forest, letting his anger, frustration, and sadness turn into adrenaline. The ache in his chest refused to subside, and he wasn't sure that it ever would.

He was running away from his problems. Would they ever be solved if he continued in that manner?

Problems . . . Was Alya a problem? These past few months, she had been causing him more distress and confusion than anything else. So in some respects, she was a problem.

But she was _his_ problem. And for some reason, that made all the difference.

He was making her his problem, but he couldn't care less. She meant a lot to him, more than she would ever know.

Except . . . Now she did know. She knew that he cared about her because he had told her just that. And she had rejected him, had pushed it away like he was a dirty napkin. Why had she done that?

And she was acting like she had the right to be hurt! As if! All he did was tell her that he was worried about her, and she had completely freaked out. If anything, he should be the one that's upset, not her.

And he was, he was completely torn apart inside.

Pausing finally to catch his breath, Nino grasped his knees and panted. Beams of sunlight filtered through the cracks between the leaves of the trees, casting patterns and shadows on the ground around him. He leaned against a particularly large tree trunk, sliding down it until he was sitting on the damp forest floor. Squeezing his eyes shut, he leaned his head back against the tree.

Something stirred in his breast pocket, and Nino opened his jacket slightly to let it free.

”I hope you haven’t forgotten about me, Master,” Wayzz quipped, nudging Nino’s cheek affectionately.

”I told you to call me Nino,” Nino murmured with an exhausted sigh.

”All the same,” Wayzz said. “The point I am trying to make here, Master Nino, is that you are having girl troubles.”

Nino furrowed his brow at the new nickname but focused on what Wayzz was intending to get across. “‘Girl troubles?’” He quoted in the air. “That’s an understatement.”

Wayzz chuckled. “Oh, Master Nino. I know I’ve been Fu’s kwami for a long, long time, but I’ve witnessed many young heroes such as yourself go through very similar hardships. But you, like those heroes did so many years ago, will get through it.”

”How?” Nino nearly whined. Gosh, he wondered why Wayzz put up with him. Well, he had to, but still.

Wayzz chuckled. “By talking to her. First, seek advice from someone of . . . the same identification. Then, go back to Alya and tell her what you were meaning to say.”

”You mean . . . Get advice from another girl? Then talk to Alya again?” Nino said dumbly. It was a simple, yet effective way to go about the situation. It was much better than his current method anyways, moping in the forest. “That’s not a bad idea, thanks Wayzz. I'm sorry that you have to put up with my whiny self,” Nino said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

”Don’t mention it, Master Nino.”

✿✿✿

”I hate all men!”

Of all the things Trixx could have said to her, Alya wasn’t expecting that.

”You hate _all_ men?” Alya asked, raising her eyebrow. “Have you ever been assigned to a male before?”

Trixx crinkled her tiny nose in disapproval. “Yes, and I’ve had my favorites. However, I prefer to be assigned to girls like you.”

”Oh? How so?” Alya was more amused by this than anything else.

”You don’t take crap from anyone,” Trixx said bluntly. “You’re not afraid to stand up for yourself. You’re strong-willed, and it’s not something you find in many aspiring heroes. It usually comes in time. That’s not to say you’re perfect, so don’t get too hot-headed. That being said . . .”

”And here it comes,” Alya sighed.

”. . . I think you were a bit harsh on your boyfriend.”

”BOYFRIEND?!” Alya scoffed. “Nino is not my boyfriend! Didn’t you even hear the convo? We’re friends, Trixx. Good friends.”

The kwami scoffed. “Oh really? Because by my ‘hearing the convo,’ it sounds like you told him you don’t want to be friends anymore.”

”I . . .” Alya trailed off. It had sounded like that, hadn’t it? She groaned, pressing her hands to her face in frustration. “How do I fix this?” She mumbled into her palms.

”By talking to him, smartie. Convince him that you want him around, which by the looks of it is the actual truth. You may know you want him to come back, but he doesn’t know that. You have to communicate that to him. Friendship is about communication just as much as a romantic relationship is.”

Alya was stunned. She hadn’t expected Trixx to say something that . . . educated, to say the least. Nodding firmly, she pressed her mouth into a thin line and stood up from her armchair. Tossing her pull-over aside, she motioned for the kwami to follow her. “I need to clear my head. In fact, I know a better way! Trixx, transform me!”

✿✿✿

Footsteps crunched on gravel. “Long time, no see,” a gruff voice spoke with a slight laugh.

Rena Rogue turned around with a start, not quite recognizing the voice yet. She relaxed when she saw that it was only Carapace.

”I’ll say,” she replied, moving over to give him some room on the tree stump next to her.

She was seated by a set of old train tracks that no longer were in use. It was quiet, in the midst of a split in the woods, so it was perfect for being alone to think. She briefly pondered what a coincidence it was that they were both there at the same time.

”What are you doing here?” they both asked at the same time.

”Sorry—You go first,” Carapace offered.

Rena sighed, turning away from him once more. She rested her elbows on her knees, pressing her chin into the palms of her hands. “Why is love so hard?”

Carapace’s eyes widened, staring at her in shock. “Love?” he asked in confusion. Rena was such a strong-willed woman who liked to be in charge of everything, and he’d never really thought about her being with someone.

”Yes—love. I know it’s hard for you to comprehend,” she rolled her eyes, some of her sassiness sneaking through her sadness. Grumbling in frustration, she ran a hand through her hair, careful to avoid her ears of course. “What I mean is, why does loving someone have to be so difficult?”

Carapace scooter closer to her, feeling the invisible distance between them evaporating as he realized how similar their situations were. “I don’t know, but I’ve been wondering the same thing lately,” he confessed.

Rena looked up in surprise. “Really?”

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah . . . It’s hard to believe, I know. But there’s this girl—“ he swallowed, cutting off abruptly.

”Yeah, there’s this girl?” Rena urged him on. She was curious, what could she say? And knowing she wasn’t alone in this confusion made her feel a tiny bit better.

”Well . . . She and I have been friends for a while. She’s the most beautiful, strong, brave person I know. She always puts other’s needs before her own, but she’s smart enough to know when her own needs matter more. She can cheer up anyone in a few minutes, just by being herself. And her smile, God, I think her smile is one of the nicest things about her. It’s so bright—like the sun gave her a sliver of its light. It’s so beautiful . . . And her willingness to help others is amazing, too. There’s honestly nothing I don’t like about her,” Carapace swallowed thickly. “But lately . . .”

Rena noticed his sudden change in demeanor and placed her hand on his shoulder as an act of reassurance. “You don’t have to—“ she started, but Carapace shook his head.

”Lately,” he continued, with some difficulty, “she’s been distant. She keeps lying to me about where she always runs off to. She doesn’t talk to me like she used to, and it’s tearing me apart inside.” His voice choked up suddenly, and he had to swallow a few times and clear his throat before he could continue. “I know it’s stupid, but it’s always on my mind. I care about her so much, and I don’t know what to do.”

Rena furrowed her brow. “Why don’t you talk to her? I’m no therapist or life coach but that seems like the easiest option at this point.”

”I did!” he cried, pressing his face into his hands. “She won’t listen, she won’t! It’s like she thinks I’m lying to her. Like I’m some kind of idiot for believing that something’s wrong, and for caring enough to find out what it is.”

Rena frowned, retracting her hand from where it rested on his shoulder. “She’s truly stupid if she doesn’t at least hear you out,” she declared. “If she really cares about you, she’ll find you again. I promise.”

Carapace looked up, his eyes flowing with unshed tears. A few dribbled down his cheeks as he sat up. “You really think so?” he whispered brokenly.

Rena nodded firmly.”I know so, trust me. If a girl really loves a guy, she’ll come back to work things out. I assume it’s the same the opposite way,” she hesitated, uncertainty flickering across her gaze. “In the meantime,” she tried to cover it up, “try doing something nice for her. Ease her into any further development of your relationship. Remember, it has to be mutual. Try getting her flowers or chocolates, something sweet. Even if it’s cliche, I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”

Carapace nodded quickly before he looked her in the eye with a guilty expression. “Sorry I’ve been rambling. Why don’t you tell me about your situation and I’ll try to help the best I can?” he offered.

Rena hesitated again, fiddling with her miraculous before nodding. “Yeah, I guess it’s only fair,” she laughed, but it was dry and nearly humorless. “My situation isn’t far from yours, actually. I’ve been friends with someone for a long time, but recently we’ve started drifting apart. And I think—no I know—it’s because of me.”

Carapace regarded her with curiosity. “How so?”

”I keep pushing him away,” she blurted. “And it’s because of my secret. I can’t afford to get close to him, because I just keep hurting him in the end,” she said through clenched teeth. “This miraculous is both the greatest gift and the greatest curse.” She paused to take a deep breath, then closed her eyes. Her features softened for a moment, and when she opened her eyes they were watery with tears. “He means a lot to me,” she swallowed. “And I don’t want to hurt him. But I can’t afford to fall in love with someone right now. Not like this—I can’t. It’s not right for me to be in love with someone who can only know half of me. It’s not fair to him, and it’s not fair that I have to keep lying to him. It’s better off for both of us if we just stay apart.”

”So your solution to the problem is to drive him away? Don’t you think that’s a little harsh? Especially if you guys have been friends for as long as you said. You’re hurting both of you more by keeping him away. Don’t you see that?”

Rena stood suddenly, her fists clenched at her sides. “I can’t love him!” she yelled. “You don’t get it!”

Now it was Carapace’s turn to stand. He stood nose to nose with her, though he was definitely taller. “Oh yeah? And why not? You think I don’t get what it’s like to love someone that you shouldn’t?” he seethed. “Did you not listen to anything I said?”

Rena glared at him, a dangerous fire sparking in her eye. “Just because we’ve been through something similar, it doesn’t mean we’re the same,” she said icily.

For someone with a burning gaze such as hers, the frost in her words surprised him. Taking a step back, he swallowed down his pride. “Maybe you should go take your own advice then.”

Rena narrowed her eyes. “Excuse me?”

”You heard me. Instead of shoving your lover away, how about you bring him closer? Whatever happens, happens. Be the girl you told me mine was going to be. Go back to him, since you’re obviously interested.”

Rena looked as though he’d slapped her. “You have no right—“

”I have no right? No right to what, help you? Try to be a good friend? You know, even for everything you’ve done, I’m starting to see some similarities between you and /her/.” He spat the word with a vicious venom as if it was poisonous on his tongue. He slipped off his shell and stepped on it as it hovered in the air. “You should figure your life out,” he snapped. “Then come back to me when the _real_ Rena is back.”

And with that, he was gone, leaving her alone yet again.

✿✿✿

It was just a simple text. One small message that he probably wouldn’t even see, or care to reply to. But this one message was causing her enough anxiety to be compared to a raging ocean.

_I miss you._

No, that wasn’t right. How was she supposed to convey all the emotions she was feeling in one text?

Trixx, who had been watching the display with mild interest, suddenly flew up and landed on the pillow next to her face. “Oh for goodness sake, just sent the message! What’s the big deal, anyway? You want him here, right?”

Alya winced. Did she really want Nino coming back? All she would do was drive him away again. But her conversation with Carapace was at the forefront of her mind. Their situations were so similar . . . Everything they’d said to each other was the truth. It was as if they were answering two different sides of the same ordeal.

”Trixx?” she asked, unaware that the kwami had used her tiny paw to press the send button. “Are you able to sense when there’s another miraculous around?”

Trixx flopped back in the pillow, looking up at her. “You want to know if your boyfriend has one.” It wasn’t even a question.

”For the last time, Nino is _not_ my boyfriend. And how did you even know I was referring to him?”

Trixx tapped her own head, leaving Alya to only guess what that meant. “Of course I can!” she said cheerfully. “But I’m not supposed to tell you.”

Alya groaned, flopping back against her bed. Of course, there were conditions to it. Why would kwamis just walk around revealing their hosts to each other? “So there’s no way you can tell me, huh?”

”No,” Trixx said. “But you can figure it out on your own.”

”Wait—So you’re saying that Nino does have a miraculous?!”

”Whoa whoa whoa, slow your roll there, Shirley. I didn’t say that at all. What I mean is, try to figure out for yourself if he has one or not. Us kwamis can’t help it if you guys do that,” she shrugged.

”So he could have one,” Alya muttered under her breath. There had to be obvious signs to the answer, but first, she needed to make up with Nino first. And that meant getting him there—

_Ding dong!_

Alya froze, her eyes flickering to the door, then to her phone that was rested on the pillow. It couldn’t be . . . Could it? She hadn’t sent the text! Was it a possible coincidence?

She stood up, smoothing down her sweater. She couldn’t jump to conclusions this quickly. It could be anyone—Marinette, Adrien, mail, a package, etc. Her heart began to jump in her chest nonetheless. Finally reaching the door, she opened it and stood face to face with Nino.

”I miss you too,” was the first thing he said.

Then she was swinging the door in his face, trying to shut him out. Trying to push him away, so she wouldn’t love him. So she wouldn’t end up hurting him. In doing so, she was only hurting herself, and she didn’t realize it. There was no way she had sent the message, this couldn’t be happening it just couldn’t—

Nino stopped the door with his foot and a strong arm. “Please, Alya,” he begged. “Don’t shut me out like this. Talk to me, I’m here for you. I just want to be there for you like I used to be.”

_Like he used to be._

It was a shockingly sudden reminder that their friendship was nothing like it had been in the past. They were keeping secrets, pushing each other away, fighting, and in Alya’s case [or so she thought only her case] falling in love. It was all too much for her to handle.

”I’m sorry Nino,” she whispered coldly, but even he could tell that her tough façade was crumbling. “But I can’t hurt you like this.”

”But you _are_ hurting me, don’t you see? And you’re hurting yourself as well! Alya I—“ he swallowed thickly, “I care about you. A lot. Probably more than I should. And it kills me, absolutely _kills_ me to see you this way.”

”What way?” Alya scoffed, trying to put up her defenses again. She was rebuilding the wall around her heart, and Nino had to act fast if he wanted to get over it.

”You’re distancing yourself, from all of us. From your friends, your colleagues, I can tell. And I know you don’t mean to, I can see it on your face. But you keep lying to everyone, you keep lying to me. I can’t help you, I can’t understand you if you don’t let me in. If you don’t tell me the truth about what’s really going on—or how you feel. Please Alya,” he took a step closer, shoving the door aside so he was within the threshold of her house, “let me in. Just let me in, I’m begging you.”

Alya’s face crumpled as she watched the man she loved break down in front of her. He was showing his weakness, his vulnerability, just to her. So why couldn’t she do the same? It physically pained her to see him like this . . . Was this how he felt about her? In that case, she was the world’s biggest hypocrite. Carapace was right.

”I talked to someone today,” Alya whispered finally. “For advice about you—about us.”

Nino paused, a look of surprise crossed his face. “Me too. What did they say?” He has now fully pushed himself inside Alya’s house, standing facing her in the foyer.

”They told me to take my own advice. That I need to start going after someone if I truly care about them. And I’m starting to think that they’re right.”

Nino furrowed his brow. That was funny—it was the exact same thing he’d told Rena Rogue. Shaking his head, he tried to clear his thoughts. Alya was NOT Rena Rogue. She was just . . . Exactly like her in every way. Wait . . .

Nino hadn’t noticed that Alya was talking. His brain nearly shut down from his overpowering thoughts. “I-I got you these,” he said numbly, holding out a bouquet of deep red roses.

Alya’s cheeks certainly matched the color of the flowers as she reached a shaking hand out to grasp the bundle. “T-Thank you—“ she started. That was weird . . . It was the same exact thing she had told Carapace to give to the girl he was having problems with.

_What an odd coincidence._

Shaking it off, she turned to put the flowers in the kitchen. She heard footsteps behind her and frowned when she realized Nino had followed her in. She reached up to grab a vase from her cabinet, but a hand rested briefly on her waist from behind. It brushed the bit of bare skin that was showing due to the shirt lifting up slightly. Alya jumped and Nino quickly retracted his hand as a sizzle of fiery electricity erupted between their skin.

”Let me help,” Nino said in a low voice, reaching over her and grabbing the vase she needed. Alya quickly snatched it and went to duck away from their position, but Nino effectively trapped her with his arms against the counter. “Please talk to me,” he begged her. “Please, I—“

”What do you want me to say?” Alya blurted. “That I’m sorry I’m so closed off and cold towards you? That I’m sorry I can’t show how much I care about you? That it’s hard for me to trust people more and more lately, but I’m trying my best? That I’m sorry I can’t be the friend you thought I was—“

”Stop d*mmit!” Nino suddenly yelled, and Alya quickly pressed her lips together. “Alya, just stop. You’re the strongest, bravest, sweetest, most beautiful girl I know. You always put other’s needs before your own, but you’re smart enough to know when your needs matter more. You can cheer anyone up in a few minutes, just by being yourself. And your smile, God, it’s one of the nicest things about you. It’s so bright—like the sun gave you some of its light. It’s absolutely beautiful . . . And your willingness to help those around you is just as amazing as you are. There’s nothing I don’t like about you.

”But Alya, you can’t keep pushing me away. I want to be there for you, I need to be there for you. Not because I believe you need me, but because I need you. So please,” he paused as tears collected in his eyes, “please don’t keep leaving me in the dust. I can’t handle this—I’m not strong enough.”

Deja vu hit her like a semi-truck.

Carapace had told her almost the exact same thing when she was Rena Rogue. Why was it so similar? Could Nino really be . . .

No, that wasn’t possible. Nino couldn’t be Carapace! He couldn’t be a superhero. They weren’t anything alike—

—except they were. They were alike in so many ways. They were both brave, strong, quick thinkers, witty, but they would do anything to protect those closest to them. Nino and Carapace were one and the same. But were they the same person?

Alya was so distracted that she didn’t notice Nino’s frustration. “Can you look at me and listen for one minute?!” he yelled, obviously angered by her lack of response. “God—You make this so hard!”

Alya’s eyes narrowed dangerously, and Nino almost recognized the fire brewing behind them. “I’m making this hard? _I'm_ making this hard?! You’re one to talk! You strut around like nothing’s wrong when I’m dying inside because of how I feel! And you’re so d*mn caring and sweet that I don’t even have anything to complain about! For the love of God, Nino! You think I’m the one that’s making this difficult? You have no IDEA what I’m going through right now!”

”Oh yeah? Try me,” Nino growled.

”Just because we’ve been through something similar, it doesn’t mean we’re the same,” she said icily in reply.

Nino was hit by a sudden familiarity so fast that he loosened his grip on the counter. Alya took this as an opportunity to make her escape. She attempted to surge around him, but he reached out his hand and grasped her wrist with reflexes so fast that she could only blink in shock.

Rena. Rena had said the exact same thing to him. They both had similar situations. It was undeniable how similar Alya and Rena were. If Alya _was_ Rena . . . Did that mean she loved him? It was what Rena had said after all . . .

Before he even drew a conclusion, things started adding up. How Alya was always disappearing. How she always seemed tired. How she was being secretive. It swirled around in his head like a hazardous wind storm, contributing to the growing pressure inside his brain.

Alya could be Rena. Alya could LOVE him. Did she love him? Did he love her?

The realization washed over him that yes—for the love of all things yes—he did love her. He loved her laugh, her smile, her bright persona. The aura that seemed to shimmer around her wherever she went. Her helpfulness, her kindness, and bravery. He was in love with Alya Césaire.

But did that mean he was also in love with Rena Rogue?

Turning his attention back to Alya, he was horrified to see that she was crying.

”Let go!” she cried. “Let me go, d*mmit!” She struggled to get her arm free from his grasp. He wasn’t holding tightly, he would never hurt her. But she was obviously in distress for very different reasons.

”I’m sorry, Alya. But I can’t let you slip out of my grasp again,” Nino whispered.

And without hesitation, without thinking, he kissed her. He kissed the girl he had loved for many years, the one he had fallen so hard and so fast for so long ago. He kissed her with a burning passion that screamed love and desire, their breath mingling to form one. They were one body, one soul. Pressed against each other as electricity popped and sizzled on the surface of their skin, breaching it to swarm into their veins. Coursing through their bodies, it consumed their thoughts. It caused Nino to pull Alya impossibly closer, and it caused Alya to wrap her arms around Nino’s neck, pressing her hand into his shoulder blades to shove him closer to her.

They were one being, one mind. At that moment, the only thing that mattered was the amount of passion and love that they poured into their kiss. It was a kiss like no other, one that would leave them breathless and panting, with the taste and feel of each other’s lips on theirs forevermore.

When they finally pulled back to breathe, their souls separated once more. Nino didn’t open his eyes, terrified that she would be looking at him with horror and disappointment. Instead, he rested his forehead against hers, feeling the remaining fire burn in his body.

A gentle nudge to his nose brought him to open his eyes. And there was Alya’s gaze, her clouded eyes smoldering his heart into a puddle of goo. But amidst that cloud was a different emotion that he couldn’t quite pinpoint. And it scared him. He opened his mouth to speak, but a slender finger was pressed against his lips to prevent him from doing so.

Alya swallowed before opening her mouth and uttering the words that Nino had been longing to hear for so long.

”I do care about you, Nino. I care about you more than you could ever know because I never communicated it with you. And for that, I’m truly sorry. I’m afraid, to tell you the truth, of falling hard and fast for someone that I shouldn’t love. I can’t hurt you that way, I just can’t.” Tears spilled over the rims of her eyes, sliding gently down her cheeks. She didn’t bother to wipe them away.

”You’re not hurting me! Why can’t you just see that? I love you, Alya. I’ve loved you for a long time, I never stopped loving you. Please don’t shut me out like you always do. Let me in, allow yourself to be vulnerable for me. We’re on this crazy ride together, for better or for worst. And it’s one that I’m willing to take as long as you’re with me every step of the way.”

Her heart began to flutter rapidly, a swarm of butterflies erupting in her stomach. “Do you . . . really mean that?” she asked tentatively.

Nino looked her in the eye, his expression deeply serious. “With my whole heart.”

”I would say the same, but I’m afraid you already have half of mine,” Alya choked, and Nino couldn’t help but laugh.

It was as if a sudden weight had lifted off of their shoulders. The revelation of their identities still hung over their heads, and they had yet to figure out where they stood as friends or lovers. But love is a slow and gentle process, and it was one that the two were both prepared to go through together. Words needed not to be exchanged, for they stole half of each other’s hearts with the kiss that sealed their fates. The future may have been uncertain, but it was promising.

”There’s a lot we need to talk about,” Alya started. Definitely starting with their identity crisis.

”I’m ready whenever you are,” Nino said honestly.

”Can we wait just a little while longer? I really wanted to steal another kiss,” Alya said with a bashful laugh.

Nino raised an eyebrow, shocked that he could make Alya shy. “My lips and I are totally cool with that,” he said quickly. “I mean if you want to take it a step further I’m always ready,” he said jokingly.

Alya laughed, and Nino thought his heart was good to burst. “Slow it up, Romeo. We’ve got a long way to go. Let me steal that kiss and maybe one day we’ll get there.”

Nino was all too happy to comply. He pulled her forward, pressing their lips together. Their lips danced in perfect harmony once more, the fire returning to their veins.

They still had a long way to go, and a confusing road ahead of them. But they were both willing to sacrifice for the other, to step out of their comfort zone to achieve their ultimate happiness.

As they passionately shared a few more kisses, two little heads poked out of each of their pockets. The two kwamis shared a silent look of understanding. Their masters were rough around the edges, and maybe slightly broken inside. But they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, and there was nothing more than either of them could ask for.

Destiny had a strange way of acting, but in time it would run its course. And eventually, the two would be ready. They would face whatever was thrown at them.

_Together._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.n. So what did you guys think about their make-up? What about the previous "break-up?" Please leave kudos if you liked this! As always, thank you for reading.


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